parody: El Bushliki Trip a Surprise to Himself

June 14, 2006

El Bushliki Trip a Surprise to Himself

President el Bushliki didn’t learn about his trip to Washinghbad until it was over, if then. This was explained to a select group of journalists by presidential adviser Ben Tartlett, a former employee of the Groove Counseling Bureau of Hexas. Actually, Ben whispered the info in question by turn into the ears of each newsperson attending, and it would seem that what he said to each of them was also different. This of course greatly contributed to the confidentiality of the matter. Additionally, all those present had to swear on a copy of the National Inquisitor (Will Wackley Jr.’s scholarly publication) to be careful not to accidentally write a true word in their accounts of the briefing. Ben protected his own identity by referring to himself as “Fartlett.”

The circumstances of the visit are therefore now crystal clear. President el Bushliki was disguised as a nun while sound asleep and launched in the shape of a rocket from an underground silo. The rocket was flying backwards to befuddle radar installations. Upon his arrival in Baghwashton, he put on dark glasses and a toupee. Prime Minister Malibush, having been repeatedly thwacked on the head with a saucepan by his favorite cook (one of our secret agents, to be sure), was in a deep coma. Even so, the meeting had to be terminated after 23 seconds, as Bushliki snored so loudly aides became concerned the Irmaqi premier might emerge from his blackout.

Just to keep things on the safe side, this morning’s presidential news conference was held by a Bushliki double, after having been announced that it had been canceled. Some passholders nevertheless insisted on entering the auditorium anyway. This resulted in a friendly fistfight between them and security. Five persons were transported to hospital with minor to major lacerations, under the cloak of strict secrecy. They underwent plastic surgery to make them unrecognizable. On the way back to his home, the President escaped injury when his limousine was accidentally demolished by a car driven by his wife. In his turn, Premier Malibush went on Irmaqi state television, declaring that his encounter with Bushliki had profoundly inspired him. “I glimpse the brightest prospects for Armorican democracy,” he said, “under President Bushliki’s leadership it may even attain the level we have achieved here in Irmaq.”

L. S.